Any day now...i think i will go crazy...so see ya guys.. you can all visit me at a mental asylum...i am seriously going loony over not being able to draw or having the energy to draw...last time, i tried to squeeze out some energy to start drawing...but in the end, i couldn't take it anymore so i went to sleep >< grrr...school is killing me and my life...i don't have one anymore...i am always studying and i am always exhausted. i hate APs and all the teachers who are trying to murder me...
the one good thing is getting an acceptance letter from emory university...tho, i probably won't be going since it's in georgia and its $38,000. hahas, my mom doesn't want me to go that far and i don't really want to leave my brother, my family, and my kitties (lols ex. my paper bag kitty)
well....i am studying right now for AP gov. going to have a test tomorrow...i think i might have to pull an all nighter
sigh....so depressing. i feel very blue...kinda feel like crying...i didn't know senior year of high school was supposed to be this depressing. it was supposed to be prom, fun, and senioritis...but its the exact opposite. i can't afford to relax =/... i seriously need a break. i just want to scream out to whoever listening to leave me alone, to let me sleep, to let me do what i love most.
i am so mad and yet so sad at the same time...next september when i enter college...i'll have less time to draw, less time to watch and read anime / manga... less time to play the piano...less time to be with my family.I learned through high school that time passes by very quickly. sooner or later, there will be a new generation...and we will be old and forgotten. But the world keeps spinning and moving like we weren't there at all.
In elementary school, a day felt like a day, a month was a month, and a year was a year. in middle school, days were a little less than a day, a month felt like less than a month, and a year felt like less than a year. Now...a day feels like 3 hours. i wake up at 6, go to school, come home, study, do my work...and sleep. The whole cycle is repetitive and monotonous.....its always me doing things not for me, but for others..its always, for school, for this, for that...
where do I fit in this picture? where am I? why do i never have the time for me? soon, i know, when i enter college and my career...it will feel like this too...i will continue a repetitious cycle..i will marry, have a family, worry about my kids while white hair just keeps on growing...and then i will be old before i know it..i will look in the mirror one day, and ask myself, where my whole life went. maybe i'm being to pessimistic, too gloomy, too pathetic. maybe i just need to grow up and suck it up. everyone goes through these anxieties, these worries, and they all have these troubles.
sorry for this rant. i am sad...but its okay, don't worry guys, just a little out of it and a little blue. i will pick myself up, and learn to suck it up a little more. i just needed to write something. even if noone reads this, i will feel more relieved just letting it all out.
i hope i have the time this weekend to draw...i really want to...i really need to...i am tired...
well...peace out guys...i am very sorry for being so negative. hey, the glass is half full right? yea...i need to look on the bright side of life a little more...
Goal in mind
lols
Optimism
its AWESOME...AND REALLY REALLY REALLY PRETTY 
Happy
Depressed
